This piece was originally published by Skirt Collective at www.skirtcollective.com.
I recently received a kind e-mail thanking me for this article and requesting more on the subject. While I’m not an expert, I am happy to republish my insights with the hope to help other couples make love work despite distance.
Long distance relationships suck. There, I said it.
It sucks to check your phone every five minutes. It sucks to spend Saturday with a book while your boyfriend is at a party 3000 miles away. It sucks trying to find someone to see “Gone Girl” with because all of your friends already saw it with their significant others. It sucks to stare at a pixilated face on a screen instead of a flesh and blood, kissable person.
When your partner is hundreds or thousands of miles away every aspect of your relationship is trickier – communication, trust, fights, sex. My boyfriend and I have been battling the distance for the better part of three years. Like many twenty-something’s we are nomads, moving where our jobs, family obligations, or travel adventures carry us.
Unfortunately, despite our efforts, our lives often carry us to different corners of the U.S. During the past three years we have become accidental experts on long distance relationships and the trials they bring. We’ve fought, we’ve lived together, we’ve moved away from each other, we’ve planned, and we’ve been disappointed. We’ve said goodbye and reunited more times and in more places than I can count – in airports, strip malls, the side of the highway, front porches, and urban street corners.
Long distance relationships may bring a fair amount of suckiness, but they also bring wisdom. The lessons I’ve learned about love, live, and myself during these three years (and counting) of distance have been hard won but valuable – not just for my long distance relationship, but for any relationship.