Category Archives: tips

3 Lessons and 3 Challenges After 3 Years of Chronic Illness

When I first began writing this article I titled it “4 Lessons Learned and 4 Things I Struggle With After 4 Years of Chronic Pain.” Only after I finished the first paragraph did I realize that it has only been three years since I have been in chronic pain. Time becomes a fluid, sticky substance when you are sick. Night and day blur into one long, sleepy and sleepless period of temples pounding and stomach churning. The light is abrasive to my eyes so it’s dark all of the time anyway. I sleep when I can, almost eliminating night and day.

At least, that is how it was – for longer than I would like to consider. Things are slowly, very slowly, becoming more normal. I’m becoming more diurnal, going to sleep early and rising
IMG_5401 (2) early. My brain benefits from the routine and the normalcy even if my social life does not .
Managing migraines is a bitch, as I am a learning. A bitch that requires commitment to lifestyle changes that are not for the faint of heart. Willpower has never been my strong point (I’ve been a nail biter as long as I’ve had teeth), but I’m exercising that muscle as much as I can these days. I feel strong and powerful and healthy, if not boring and monotonous. I have also recently adopted a sickly, high-maintenance kitten and continue to care for my elderly cat named Kitten, thereby cementing my transition to full on cat lady.

At least, it is all paying off. My quality of life is improving, my sensitivity to light and sound is decreasing, and my average daily pain level is slowly getting smaller. These gains do not come without lessons and struggles, however.

3 Lessons Learned from Chronic Pain

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  1. Deadlines are bullshit. For example, my three year pain-aversary was on July 3rd, and I intended on publishing this article then. Life got in the way of my plans, though, in the form of a birthday, an engagement party, a kitten adoption, an unexpected visit, and many vet trips. Oh yeah, and too many days given over to the migraine monster. I’ve learned to be easy on myself and to flexible with my schedule. My body is going to dictate my days anyway, it doesn’t help to needlessly fret over it.
  2. You have got to speak up. Owning your story is a way to make peace with it. Even more so, when your story involves illness and pain finding your voice becomes a crucial part of getting the medical care and having the types of relationships you  desire. Viewing your relationship with your doctor as an equal partnership will help you stay engaged and confident in your wellness plan.
  3. I’m stronger than I thought, and strength looks different than I thought it would. To some extent, this lesson may be a normal part of growing up. In a life punctuated by pain and migraines, it is a lesson that is glaringly obvious. At my sickest, most vulnerable, and most physically weak is where I found my greatest strength. It became a matter of survival, and I came out the other side a stronger, softer, and (I would like to think) kinder person.
  4. (I’m an overachiever). Time can be your best friend or your worst enemy. Learning and practicing mindfulness has been a huge help to me.  Learning to be okay in the moment, even if it is an uncomfortable moment, is crucial. Time, of course, also heals all, and problems seem to shrink rather than grow when seen through the lens of a few days.

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How I Learned to Stop Worrying and Love My Long Distance Relationship

This piece was originally published by Skirt Collective at www.skirtcollective.com.

I recently received a kind e-mail thanking me for this article and requesting more on the subject. While I’m not an expert, I am happy to republish my insights with the hope to help other couples make love work despite distance.

Long distance relationships suck. There, I said it.

 

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Chesapeake Bay

It sucks to check your phone every five minutes. It sucks to spend Saturday with a book while your boyfriend is at a party 3000 miles away. It sucks trying to find someone to see “Gone Girl” with because all of your friends already saw it with their significant others. It sucks to stare at a pixilated face on a screen instead of a flesh and blood, kissable person.

When your partner is hundreds or thousands of miles away every aspect of your relationship is trickier – communication, trust, fights, sex. My boyfriend and I have been battling the distance for the better part of three years. Like many twenty-something’s we are nomads, moving where our jobs, family obligations, or travel adventures carry us.

Unfortunately, despite our efforts, our lives often carry us to different corners of the U.S. During the past three years we have become accidental experts on long distance relationships and the trials they bring. We’ve fought, we’ve lived together, we’ve moved away from each other, we’ve planned, and we’ve been disappointed. We’ve said goodbye and reunited more times and in more places than I can count – in airports, strip malls, the side of the highway, front porches, and urban street corners.

Long distance relationships may bring a fair amount of suckiness, but they also bring wisdom. The lessons I’ve learned about love, live, and myself during these three years (and counting) of distance have been hard won but valuable – not just for my long distance relationship, but for any relationship.

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How Can I Get Disability for Chronic Migraines? Tips for Approval

A few mornings ago, I was sipping coffee and taking care of bills online when I noticed a large sum deposited into my checking account. My foggy brain dismissed it as a banking mistake and I went on with my day. Hours later it hit me that the deposit had the abbreviation “Soc Sec” next to it .  I had been approved for disability and was awarded back pay!

Can I get disability for chronic migraines?

I applied for Social Security Disability Insurance (SSDI) four months ago and was not optimistic.  I was not expecting to get news so quickly, and I was really not expecting to be approved. The lady from my local Social Security office told me that it would take at least 6 months for me to get an initial answer. The horror stories I came across online  told me that the initial answer would most likely be a refusal. Only 30-35% of applicants are approved on the first try, and the appeals process can take years.

Getting disability for my condition, chronic migraines, is tough. Every migraine sufferer knows all too well how disabling migraines can be. On top of the severe head pain, migraines bring a lot of fun symptoms like nausea, vomiting, light sensitivity, sound sensitivity, vertigo, cognitive impairment, and many, many more.  Even so, the Social Security Administration does not include chronic migraines on the list of conditions automatically awarded benefits.

Why, then, was I approved so quickly?

I’m sure luck had something to do it, but I also did my research and worked hard to ensure that my application included everything the Disability Determination Office requires  for an approval.

 Most people who apply for disability are eventually approved, even if they were initially rejected. The following tips helped me get approved on the first try, eliminating the need for a lawyer and a lengthy appeal process.

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